a weekend of refreshments

it's been awhile since i felt as relieved as i did these past few days.
i felt a certain freedom. a certain peace.


i suddenly laughed more. giggled all night at the dinner table with a few friends. i wonder if they wondered as i did about the incessant giggling.


i suddenly felt less awkward and uncomfortable in places. it felt natural to be me. just me.


my heart felt lighter. no bundle of overanalyzed thoughts could seep through. they tried. but i closed that door of overthiking and over judging myself for my over thinking ways. and just.let.it.be.


there's freedom that makes you want to scream to the world. that makes you want to dance in front of a door while you wait for someone to answer. unashamed. there's freedom that let's you over snack for a day or two just cause you can. and the thoughts of why you shouldn't are suppressed. it's not reckless, it's just worry-free enjoyment. for once.


there's joy that just sparkles in your eyes. that takes you to heights that you can only imagine when in the valleys. but then you reach the mountain top and forget all about the path you've walked to get here. it's not that it's intently forgotten, it's just that you choose not to revisit.


a quote i read this week completed this feeling for me:

"freedom is not letting your yesterday affect your today."

Joyce Meyer

everyday that we walk this earth we are a product of our yesterday. somehow or another, the experiences we chose to live or not, form us, build us, make us. but the trick to surviving as we thread this often difficult path, is that we musn't dwell on that yesterday that made us. it's like we must disconnect with the ancestors of the journey and face the newness of the day. it's how we overcome. it's how we are meant to live. free. free from things that were meant to go. and free from the things that where meant to stay. nothing is really ours. not even ourselves.

"who the son sets free is free indeed!"

john 10:38

my new friend the bicycle

i

i kinda want this bike

yesterday afternoon i learned to ride a bike, for the first time. it only took me 27 years, and although i should perhaps feel lame, i feel cooler than a 5-year-old. i dont know what was more exciting, that all my friends were staring at me after they forced me to get on the bike and learn, or the fact that i was comfortable enough to take the risk and do something that i feared. this was something that i connected to a childhood that deprived me of many things and somehow i chose never to go back there. but i did. i faced it like a brave girl and i feel relieved.


i no longer have to hide behind that silly thing. i no longer need to look back with complaints. i am free of that blame game. it's funny that a bike could do that to me. but im relieved, because victory came in the form of a small, perhaps silly, accomplishment, but at the same time, it has come to prove that a big battle has been won. i really have started on a path to becoming a new me. one with less fears, one less afraid to face them, a girl on the lighter side of things. one willing to kick insecurities in the butt and enjoy everyday life.


who's with me? [practically screaming here]


i know im not alone in overcoming fears and learning later that they were tied to so many other things. but to win, i learned, it just takes that step of faith and that desire to break away from it.


what kind of fears have you overcome?

a friday confession

im not sure if you've noticed, but i love food posts. and food pictures.

and eating. ha!

and i've noticed that everywhere i go, if i have a cool looking plate,

i'm snapping a photo.

i have no shame anymore.

recently though, i've had the geunine desire to get in the kitchen and whip something up.

cooking is not something i do often, but it's something i believe is in my blood.

my family has great cooks, one of those being my father.

the man makes the best turkey i've had.

and whenever i need to get in the kitchen, i call him.

good cooking genes is something my grandma, who is no longer here, left me.

and it makes me proud to say that she was an amazing cook.

and my father carries that gift.

and i want to learn it, nurture it and put it to good practice

so that my grandma's legacy and recipes carry on forever.

preparing some pasta at our youth camp.

about a month ago my church held a youth camp and when the ladies that were assigned to cook didn't show up in time, i stepped up to the plate and without hesitation, began to cook ribs.

a.good.twenty.pound.of.them.

i know, this is a terrible photo.
i look pretty exhausted. as you can imagine if you've ever been a staff for a youth camp.
and then bloody ribs.
BUT i needed to show you proof.
and don't worry, i'll bring a hair net big enough next time. :)

it was the most fun i had in the kitchen. one, because the camp had an amazing restaurant-like kitchen with so much space. and two, because it blew me away that everyone allowed me to cook the main dish for about 80 people, for the first time.

and even better, they ate them all.

it felt great.

and i want to do it again.

this weekend my youth group is having a sort of belated thanksgiving dinner to celebrate our year together and enjoy each other. so with that said, i took the challenge to cook for this dinner. so i'll be whipping up the turkey. unfraid. well maybe a little.

wish me success...please.

i had a really dear time with my family this weekend. it's just too bad i dont have pictures of me smiling or them smiling back. my twin sisters (not me a twin, my sisters are twins) are the sweetest things, but dont like to be photographed. neither does rocio, the youngest. nor dad or stepmom. so instead i took pictures of food we had. and i caught one of the lovely twins on our dinner date.



i drove two hours, get off the car and this is how dad welcomes me.
can't say i complained.



i convinced one of my dear sisters to dinner, without the others,
they all work and being with them is a balancing act.

 

and of course the meal is the most important part of this ordeal.



oh the sweet taste of overly tangy, sweet ribs.
they were worth the upset stomach after.

my weekend at camp

my body still aches from the effects of an amazing weekend at camp.

our annual camp did not disapoint. not only did we have amazing fun,

but we also had amazing moments in the lord's presence.

he really embraced us with his love and adoration. we felt so loved by him.

his ways are so beautiful. i felt his hand holding me close. i felt his encouraging love.

and he affirmed me so strongly in the moments that i needed it most.

he surely loves us. he is surely good. he is surely faithful when we choose him above all.

seeing the pictures takes me back

how sore my legs are, takes me back

it takes me back to those long hours standing up

those hours of me in the kitchen, making grilled cheese, pasta, ribs (for the first time)

and it takes me back to worshiping the lord with all my heart

and seeing young people worship him with the utmost desire for more

and our hearts connected

we became one

and as camp arise came to an end sunday afternoon

we were all convinced that this had been the best weekend of our year

and that there was nothing more we wanted

but to go back there

to meet with god, eat smores

and run like crazy.



on the edge of my seat

preparations are well underway

lack of sleep has exceeded its maximun

excitement is at its peak

and i cant wait to see everyone enjoy themselves

while we make them work-up a sweat

and



rainy day inspration

wishy washy

Refreshed.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
  for my hope is from him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation,
  my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
  my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
  Trust in him at all times, O people;
  pour out your heart before him;
  God is a refuge for us. Selah

Psalm 62:5-8

well last week was hard on me as i started dealing with some tough issues in my heart.
you know, areas that well you just have there hidden and not wanting to relinquish them

for so long i dragged them with me until i cant no more.

god has somehow let me hold on for awhile as he dealt with other areas, as he blessed me and grew me,

but now the time has come to take a huge step-up in the staircase of life.

and i cant bring with me the extra baggage. it's just simply too heavy.

and many times we do this in life. we carry extra baggage. unnecessary items that do us no good.

 somehow we think we need them or deserve them

when really they dont deserve us.

meanwhile the only thing that can uphold us is the lord.

this past weekend i came face to face with his love.

as i worshiped him on friday, he just showed up and lit up inside me

i felt tears coming down my face as he recued me from the despair.

he hugged me with his presence.

and filled me with his joy.

so beautiful.

so refreshing.

and so the rest of the weekend continued in the same way.

at church we spoke on circumcision of the heart.

then more on surrender 

 letting the lord lead.

and then a breakthru

i opened my heart, put down my guard

 and confessed my struggles with a small group of friends.

and received their affection and support.

i know, im merely a canvas and he is the artist

painting a beautiful masterpiece

the process is just not easy

but in the end it will be

a picture worthy of admiration

reflecting him in me

and really that's what i want most.

starbucks not only brews coffee but great memories

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.  For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves" 1 Peter 3:3-5

i arrived to starbucks saturday evening. expectant of a good time. we greeted each other. her with her smile. me with my glow. spiffy as she described me.  i ordered a passion tea shaken lemonade. my favorite on the menu. she opted for nothing. we sat outside. the warmth in the air was just in its peak even at the evening hours. but we wanted to converse outside sitting in the comfy couches. and that we did. for hours. we spoke of college. of style and lack of. we spoke family. broken homes. dads. moms. their imperfections. and just everything. while i listened to her, i learned of her beautiful simplicity. i admired her kind heart as she spoke. and i savoured her truest sentiment as i shared about my deepest struggles. in her eyes a sincere love and admiration.  what a magnificent soul. i was privilege to sit with what felt like a little angel. as i drove home, i couldn't help contemplating the words that we had allow to escape our sacred hearts. and the tears we each held back. we were both of a same kind for a moment or two. just women who love and have loved each other deeply. i took from her lessons of good, she took from me lessons of wisdom.

what  a pleasant evening to say the least.

today all i want to do is this

J u M p

or at least try...

{as you can see i could not nail the jumping-in-the-air-photo}

because it's friday!!!

and i just cant wait for next week.

so many things are in store.

a special birthday {me, me, me!}

dinner, cake, balloons...

{can't wait}

and traveling to Rhode Island to sing

and of course see my buddy Ana.

then a trip to Ecuador... then Boston.

...i just cant wait for all the fun that awaits.

happy weekend to you!

ps: arent these pictures hilarious?

a life well lived is a life well spent

i thank the lord today for the life i live

for the priviledges i have to live a life for him

to serve him, to praise him

in so many areas of the world people are struggling and dying

in my side of the fence, i am rich even though i lack

because so much of what i have is luxury to billions of people today

and i am grateful for the little blessings of every day that make my life

awesome

it's not perfect

but it's blessed

it's only a reflection of a redeemed life

a life that God has chosen to use

not because im any better than others

but because he chose me

and because i answered that call and

walk everyday fighting the good fight

fighting myself to be His entirely

to surrender me to become more like him

learning that although i cant always have what i want

my Lord gives me more than I deserve

and that is love indeed...

my trip this past weekend was just an expression

of his love for me, by giving me the opportunity

to do what i am called to do as a follower of jesus

and that is worship and praise Him

thank you God for giving me the special priviledge

to sing beautiful melodies to you, to share you with others through music

enjoy some photos from our concert on saturday

be blessed!

"Kairos in Jersey"

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"a life well lived is simply a compilation of days well spent" - Douglas Pagels

bundle of joy in the big apple

last night i arrived in new york. to the embrace of my family.

my nephew and nieces, they are the sweetest.

their love in the forms of hugs, jokes and even mean-ish remarks 

make me feel like the crazy flying experience all the way here, was all worth it.

family's embrace is truly a bundle of joy

nothing short of miraculous

to suddenly feel a mother's warmth

a sister's spoiling

her huge meal to welcome me over

she doesnt take no for an answer, even when i cant anymore

laughing at her jokes and stories of old 

and even the wild things she sees in the streets of new york 

from her little kitchen window

we sit together, for long hours

doing our nails (well she doing mine really)

her little one embracing me and although i just arrived, 

begging me not to leave

how could i?

her sweet smile and kisses

i'm all hers.

my weekend here, just begun and i cant wait for more of this 

for good meals made with sisterly love

for more hugs

and for good ol'spoiling 

 

ps: she got my hair genes. so excited for her :)

lovely bits & pieces of the weekend

well hello there.

ive had an amazing weekend.

a very hot & humid one

but beautiful.

i attended  a friend's wedding on saturday.

and well her wedding was dreamy.

she looked beautifull. they both did.

ricky and maj are such godly people

 i was busy having fun in bridesmaid duty so i dont have many photos

but here are some

{these are blurry phone photos, but you'll appreciate her beauty...}

{...and my awkward bridesmaid face}

on sunday

it was Kairos time

jp and i visited a local church

to worship and share our music

after the service we set up a table with our merchandise

and a funny story happened

this church donated food to its members

and  an elderly lady kept coming by our table

and well she asked if we could discount the cd

we did 

and i guess she thought she needed to make up  for it

by offering donated food to us

so cute

so our cds were surrounded by canned apple sauce

what a deal ;)

wishing you all a happy monday - don't forget to smile/laugh/rejoice

 because

"laughter makes the world a happier place"

ps: did i mention that it's real HOT here...
and everywhere else...
drink lots of water and stay cool!