Real Love Series: Choosing over oneself

To finally wrap an amazing series on Real Love, I decided to add my two cents in the subject. My goal with this series was to encourage people and myself in this process of waiting on Real Love to awaken for us, in a Godly way. But as I read and was encouraged, I felt that I too could add something here in the hopes that you, the reader, would be blessed.

As a young woman, my dream has always been to have that special person in my life to love, to care for, to trust, to count on, to partner with, to serve the lord with, and to build a home with. Nothing is wrong with that of course, but for many years of my life as a Christian (and before) I looked in this person to be valued in and to find and feel beautiful. My life depended on that person’s acceptance and when the acceptance wasn’t there, it collapsed. Needless to say, this brought tons of hurts to my poor heart.

When a woman is desperate to feel loved, to feel valued, beautiful, worth something, pretty in her own skin -- whether skinny or fat, whether her hair is curly or not, or if she can be patient, kind, boring or rude – she often turns to anything that would show her that love she is so desperate for. Only problem is, no man on earth may be able to fulfill that emptiness.

This turns into an issue of emotional instability, crankiness, bitterness and often whenever a person approaches we only make it worse because our heart is not ready for love. That selfless love that really lasts, kind of love. Although, usually, one thinks that finding someone to love you will fix the problem. I was so wrong.

I  was wrong to look for love for selfish motives. I was wrong to want to fill voids and desires only God could. Because of this crazy pursuit of trying to find my own best, I cracked my heart in several places. I dragged it with me, in circles, for so long. And I know that the purpose of it is/was (this is an ongoing process) to grow me and so one day I could shout to the heavens, I am made knew because of you Jesus. And so that I could learn that my worth is only defined in Jesus and not in the eyes of any other.

And because of it, I am also learning about surrendering my heart, my emotions to God in its entirety. Because I really want a story that would honor him. I no longer belong to myself, but to him, so why should I have a say as to whom I should love, or marry? Or who am I to run from the risk of living in his perfect will because I’m too selfish and think my way is better? I no longer can afford to run from him. His goodness surrounds me and overwhelms me. And the only way I know how to be a bit grateful to such unfathomable goodness/mercy/love, is by totally giving myself to him. He, my master. Me, his slave.

I’ve learned. The hard way. But I’ve learned.

It’s not of me to choose.

I’ve hurt enough to know that waiting on him is better.

And I pray. And I pray. And I pray. His will over me. His will over my ministry.calling.singing.friendships. All of it. Because I really want him to choose for me.

It really takes courage to wait ladies (and gents). It really takes courage to say no to what seems right and good and perfect, if it’s not what he wants. It takes an immense amount of courage to face the world daily while saying no to what you desire, but to please Him, you negate yourself.

I don’t want to sound perfect or like it's easy. Trust me. I’ve cried, cry, sobbed, sob, called my friend, still call my friend and still (often) sit on my pastor’s couch for comfort. And I have bended knees, and cried out to God in my car.workchair.restroom.shower.mall.church.everywhere.and.anywhere. for his strength in moments of weakness. And after doing that for countless and countless times, you begin to feel better, and better. and free. And then you rest in him. <waiting>

It takes dying to oneself. But like Esther would say, “If I shall perish, I shall perish.”

Because honestly, at the end of it all, it’s not about our pleasure or satisfaction, but about finding a perfect match to accomplish a perfect plan that has been selected for you as a team that will be perfected together, through this union, to honor and glorify a perfect God.

Thank you for tuning in to this series. I encourage you to turn back to these stories often, to read about real people who have waited and who have overcome. It’s something us ordinary humans can actually do, when we are trusting in an extraordinary God.

May you be blessed and may you be strengthened to wait.

Real Love Series: Endeavor to Fulfill God’s Best

As we come close to the end of my Real Love Series, I am excited to share this amazing post by my good guy friend Jonathan from Endeavor. He shares with us on the true meaning of waiting and allowing the Lord to work in our lives in the season of singleness.

It seems to be, more so now than before, a real big challenge for Christians to understand what God wants in the area of a relationship/marriage. I must say, I am by no means a pro in the subject! As times change, sadly towards an immoral society, the lines have become blurred as to what God wants and what the world says is ok.


God set His people apart to be the standard, yet it seems now the church has chosen to become a middle man, taken a lukewarm position between God’s standard and the world. If you cannot tell the difference between the church and the world besides a title, then there is a problem. One of the first things that must be realized about “marriage” is that it is a ministry. It is not two people who like each other spending the rest of their lives together trying to make each other happy. No, it is two ministers, called of God, joint together FOREVER, to fulfill a calling that could not be fulfilled in their singleness.


Keeping this in mind has helped me to truly focus on first being equipped with all that would be necessary for the ministry that I am called to. I would love to say that I have been unshakable and say my eyes have never strayed from the path, but truthfully there have been times where I have been distracted by someone. A lot of prayer is the only means of overcoming this, even though when God brings down that sword of circumcision, it is quite painful. In the end though, the joy overcomes the pain, and God will lift those feelings and replace it with His peace, which surpasses all understanding and guards our hearts and minds.


Recently, the president of the bible school I’m in gave a talk about patience and longsuffering. I feel patience is appropriate for the occasion. He used James 1:2-4. Most of us when we think of being patient, or “waiting,” we think it implies doing nothing. The word patient in this verse actually means: the ability to bear things and vanquish with joy. There will be “diverse [trials]” that will come our way but we must be active in allowing patience to have her way. If we give up so soon, then we have achieved nothing and have not hit the mark God has for us.


Hitting God’s mark is a minute by minute job, not something to take care of in the future. Patience, or waiting, purifies us, it shows us the real motives of our heart, and if we truly press into God in this matter, He will respond. We cannot fall into this false idea that “dating” is part of waiting, it is more like trying samples until we find what we like or what God allows, we should only settle for His perfect will. We have a test to pass in our singleness that will take all of our strength, but once we fulfill it, God will take us to the next level. The funny thing is, most of the training we go through is preparing us for marriage anyway, including being faithful in waiting.


In my life, God has cleansed many of the wrong ideas, motives, language and attitudes I used to have. He takes care of His kids. It may mean ending certain friendships, but however God chooses to do it, let us delight in the simple fact that this is His will, it is the best for us. Now, I have not finished my race, there is much to accomplish, but I will endeavor to fulfill God’s best.

Thank you John! Finally tomorrow, we'll have our last post on this amazing series. I am so grateful to everyone who has participated.

REAL Love: His Plans are Always Better

Hello friends! I hope you all had a great weekend. Today we continue my Real Love Series with another great story. May you learn and be blessed by it. And thank you for all the great feedback. 

Hello! I'm so blessed to be over here today. When Jennifer asked me to share my love story, I got so excited. Mind you, it's not perfect and there are bumps along the way...

Well, let me take you back to where it all started…

Silently I sat on my bed by the window, clutching my bible and Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot in my arms. “Daughter, I never promised that you would get married.” I heard Him whisper to my heart. After several months I realized that if God was asking for my dream of getting married, then He had a good reason to do so. So I gave that dream to Him – which sounds a lot easier than it really was for me. How do you really put into words what it means to surrender? I had a huge crush on a guy, but I had to give it over to him. I knew I could trust Him with my heart. It was hard to let that guy go, but soon my desires were for more of God and less for relationships with guys. The rest of my highschool days pasted without huge struggles about being single. But soon those days were over and I found myself at a small Christian college. It was here that I struggled a lot with the desire for a relationship. Sometimes my heart ached so badly that I thought it would break from loneliness. It was a season of waiting. There were a few guys that I met on mission trips and various events and I’d ask God, “what about him?”

This is where I advise you to be very careful. Our hearts can be very deceitful. I can’t tell you how many times I thought “I could marry them” or “If they asked me, I would date them”. Don’t let your desires skew your thinking. Seek the Lord and He will reveal the right time. Lots of times He said “no” by never allowing me to see my crush again, or I found out they started dating someone else. The Lord also brought me through a season of severe pain and sickness. It was there that He showed me who I really was and how wretched I am without Him. I knew I had to trust Him in this area or my heart would lead me to the wrong thing.

I met Jonathan the Spring semester of my sophomore year at a Bible study where he led worship. He had it all – he was tall, dark, ruggedly handsome, funny, outgoing and played guitar. I liked him more than anyone I’d ever met just from that first encounter. Even so, I didn’t pay him much attention the first few weeks. (He later told me that he probably wouldn’t have been as interested in me if I had. He didn’t want someone who just came to a Bible study to meet guys.) The next few months were spent getting to know each other at the Bible study.

How did I know he was ‘it’? Well, the first sign was our similar passions. Pretty early on he asked me where I thought the Lord was leading me in life – I had never met someone whose God-given passions were the same as mine. Exactly! Second, was the way he pursued me. He was careful, respectful and intentional. Some of the first questions he asked me when we started “talking” were about my salvation and views on the Bible (which made a big impression on me). I knew he was serious about me. He wasn’t just playing around with my heart – he told me that I was the kind of girl he prayed God would give him one day.

Once it became clear that it was almost time to move on to dating, we spent 2 weeks apart with no communication in order to seek the Lord. It was an agonizing 2 weeks for me. In my heart, I knew that I already loved him. Even so, I gave all my hopes for this relationship to the Lord. I didn’t hear a “no” this time. I felt at peace with moving on and I knew that Jonathan was a man that I could trust with my heart. Sure, I had a few doubts here and there as we dated, but they were mostly in regards to the real person I found. I knew that I could not change him, so I had to ask myself if these were imperfections I was willing to live with for the rest of my life. Time and time again, I said yes and fell more deeply in love with this wonderful (and yet very human) man.

Was it scary and overwhelming at times? You bet. Still, in those moments I knew that the Lord was leading me. I had no doubt that I had sought His guidance and He had led me to this man. He chose me and I chose him…and we’ve never looked back.

The things of the heart are deep and mysterious. I don’t know where you are or what your past looks like. I can’t tell you anything but to seek the Lord. He knows our hearts and He knows what we need far better than we do. Trust Him, wait for Him. Your heart may break. Your dreams may shatter. Your soul may ache. Mine did. But there is always a purpose. The plans He has are far better than we can ask or think.

Thank you Jennifer for sharing about your story on my blog. It's truly inspiring.

Please visit The Blair Affairs for more on Jennifer and her life as married woman!

You have one last day to enter the giveaway. Go here!

REAL Love Series: Waiting is About God, Not Each Other

This post from the girl with a smile is so good, it needs no introduction. Enjoy!

This guy and I are courting. It's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. But a lot happened before we got here.

Let's rewind, shall we?

"God, give me the patience to hold on. I want to not grow tired or rebellious about you writing my love story." - Nov. 17, 2009 {journal entry}

Let me give you the context of when I wrote this. I had been enjoying a season of God pursuing me as the Lover of my soul like never before. And in this pursuit of Him breaking the walls that calloused my heart, I was required to let love in. A total healing process of letting go of the false idea I had of love, relationships and marriage. 3 months prior  to this entry, I had made a covenant with the Lord that I would not date for a year, even if He brought the right guy into my life (this is really how His pursuit for my soul began). And when I made this covenant, I thought I would not be tempted to break it because I didn't have any guy catch my attention (and I wasn't expecting it to...) but there I was, desperately asking the Lord for strength to wait, just 3 months after!! The impossible had happened: I was wanting to date this godly guy that had caught my attention with his walk with the Lord. The pressure was on.

I was waiting for the Lord to reveal if this would be the guy or not, an answer he would not give me without faith on my part. So I waited... I wanted God's will more than my own. I did not want to 'make' this guy the one for me. I guarded my heart as I waited: I didn't tell him things that were personal to me, or the hurts from the past. I told myself that I wouldn't tell him things I would not tell someone else on the same friendship level just because my emotions told me to. God was capable of orchestrating our story without my help or his. I could rest on that. Ironically, through this waiting season I was being prepared for the next season. The foundation for our relationship was being laid. I could expect our relationship to bear good fruits just because good fruit was bearing through our friendship season. We grown alongside each other and God has been and will always be our common ground! Waiting had to be about God, not each other. It is to glorify Him, not the sake of just dating someone.

There were things God was going to be clear about in the waiting season:

1. The only relationship that matters the most for eternity is the one with our Creator.
2. Was I being called to marriage? - In our Western Culture Christianity, we seem to put extra emphasis on the idea of romance, marriage & family. Rightfully so, since it's the core of God's plan for us. But we take it to the extreme sometimes and we tend to look down & dismiss the importance of singlehood, whether temporary or not.
3. I didn't want to date/court (I like to call it 'intentional dating') if I wasn't putting marriage on a healthy perspective. The idea that this guy friend was someone's future husband helped me respect him and our boundaries. And until we're not saying "I do" on an altar to each other, I am still being grounded on that statement. He is not mine.
4. The single season prepares you for courting & engagement seasons. If you're not content with the gift of singlehood, you will not be content in marriage. No matter how much you disagree with this, it's true.
5. Love is not self-seeking. Many times did L & I endure the worst of each other, and we thought to give up on our friendship. Love serves and sacrifices, even when being despised. You cannot want a relationship for you gain from it, but for what you give to it.
6. Real love, true love, does exist. It all depends if you're willing to trust God with that area of your life, even if it involves being single & devoted to Him all your life. Amy Carmichael was a godly woman who never married but glorified Christ with all her life.
7. God can orchestrate your love story because He cares about it more than you do. After all, He designed it! It's the closest thing we have that speaks of His relationship with us. He calls us His bride (Revelation 21:2). Trust that He will not let you be single a day more than you need to be.

Dear ladies,

Just wait upon the Lord. We were friends for two years and I had not seen my guy friend for 6 months before he showed up to my door, asking permission to court me.
This quote has been my motto ever since:

"I will trust while I wait for my God i never late"

This post was amazing. Thank you so much for joining me on this! Please visit her blog for more tips on Christian living and courtship - She Smiles, She Writes

PS: A few more days left on the Giveaway!

REAL Love Series: Obey and Enjoy - A guy's take

I particularly love when a guy could share some light on the topic of courtship. Here's a great one from "the guy" at

Standing Still and Speaking Softly

“Do not awaken or arouse love until it so desires.” That was the word from the Lord. That was all I had to stand by. I had no idea that God was going to take me on a journey that would change my life.

Can I just say that I wasn’t looking to date? I wasn’t looking for a wife. But when I saw her, I knew. The attraction was something deeper then the skin, but shallower than the spiritual. I quickly became the guy who liked the girl with the smile. I made a covenant with the Lord that I would not introduce myself to this beauty, but that He would introduce us if it was His will. It was. We met, through a friend, two weeks later. What conspired after wasn’t so great. It went something like this: guy expresses feelings prematurely, girl freaks out, girl comes back, feelings are exchanged and fireworks happen, God says not yet, they choose to obey, guy falls out of attraction, girl runs away from attraction, and all seems lost. That ridiculously long run-on sentence covered about 8 months.

Lo and behold, the Lord was in control the whole time. I don’t think we ever fell fully out of attraction for one another, I think we just gave up on the Lord. As we “moved on” we moved into a true best friend relationship. God began stirring in my heart an attraction for her like the one I originally had, but I didn’t want to ruin the great friendship that was being birthed. I asked God to take control of my passions; He did. Then on December 6th, 2010 God whispered in my ear, “it’s time.” I knew what He was talking about, and I really didn’t want to go there. He was talking about the beginning of a courtship.

On December 10th, 2010 I asked for her hand in courtship. We began our courtship that day. There are not many rules for us. The words “I love you” and the physical seal of a kiss will be reserved for our engagement season, which is when our love will be proved. Right now I am thoroughly enjoying this dating season. It is filled with late night chats, frequent texts, and snail mail letters. Our dates are never conventional; we like to be creative in all aspects.

I would love to say that there is a “right way” to doing a courtship, but there really isn’t. It’s about seeking the face of God and watching Him do everything. All we are required to do is obey and enjoy. Please allow me, though, to shed some words of wisdom. Girls: DO NOT do the pursuing. Wait on that boy, and when he is ready he will MAN UP and purse you. Keep your eyes on the Lord, as He is your groom during your single season. Guys: Don’t rush into a pursuit just because your feelings tell you too. Step back for a second and see what God thinks of it. Lastly, if your not ready to get married one to two years after you begin courting, then you are not ready to be courting at all… justsayin.

Such wisdom in this post. Thank you!!

By the way, tomorrow we'll read on her side of the story and learn more about courtship. 

PS: Giveaway is still open.

Real Love Series: The Importance of Being Second

I'm so glad that I was able to have amazing women of God share about their stories on love, waiting and trusting the Lord. Today Courtney shares her story. And as always, she displays her writing skills beautifully in this post.

hi everyone, this is courtney from vintch. i am thrilled to be on jen’s blog today, sharing a little bit about my thoughts on marriage and love, and the importance of keeping christ at the center of it all.

our love story started like many others. in a cloud of perfume, lockers and high school parking lots. robert was a year ahead of me, drove a volkswagon van and lankily stared in school productions. he was quiet and sat on a bench near my third period class. i hadn’t spoken to him, but i walked by him every day in my most special way, lingering my fingers on the doorknob longer than necessary, hoping he would notice my saunter, my cheerleading uniform, my haircut. the first time we spoke was on our first date, when he picked me up in his dad’s car, sweetly apologizing for the towel on my seat. he spilt water on the way over.

what followed wasn’t easy. we spent every afternoon together for an entire year. then, he left for college two hours away and i realized the reality of young love. i realized that late nights on the telephone sometimes lead to throwing it against the wall and going to bed crying. that girls in college don bikinis and lay out under the volleyball courts. that the train ride between us was too long. and when i finally got to college with him, the trials didn’t stop. there were classes, new friends and old obligations to juggle. in the lowest point of our relationship, i met him between our dorms and gave him back his microwavable soup bowl. i cried and rolled his high school ring around my finger. we parted at around nine in the morning, and i didn’t speak to him for three months.

but we found our way back. because even though college was hard, and temptations were around every corner, and the time apart felt like a physical death, our love was stronger than that. one night robert was reading his bible and he found job 9:9: “he made all the stars--the bear and orion, the pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.” pleiades is our favorite constellation. that sign from the lord confirmed it and we met in the hallway one afternoon to talk.

we haven’t stopped talking since. we talk on the phone every day. we talk in bed at night. at five-thirty on august 30, 2008, we talked sacred words to each other at the alter of my home church.

my mama used to tell me, i love you kids. but i love jesus more. and that used to hurt my feelings. how could she possibly love anything more than me? more than my mousy hair and my shy stutter? but now, i understand. because even though my love for robert is greater than any love i could ever share on this earth, i too, love my father more. and that’s the way it should be—and that’s what keeps our love good. because i’m second on robert’s list as well. and as we seek to develop, nourish and feed that relationship with jesus, we strengthen our own.

and much of that is spiritual. but some is physical, too. i wore white on my wedding day with honor. somehow, armed with an unmatched grace, we overcame the temptress that is college, with its alone time, twin beds and empty dorm rooms. that was important to us—to save ourselves. because we were worth it. and that’s my message today. you are worth it too.

you with the messy hair.

you with the gap-toothed grin.

you with the stutter, the slur, the stammer.

you with no idea what the future holds.

you with no one to kiss at night.

you with the wide hips, the crooked nose and the big feet.

you in the trailer park, the neighborhood, the mansion.

you with the thrift store coat and bright tights.

you are worth it. and there’s still time. you are worthy.

Courtney also has an amazing etsy shop and you can win an item from her shop on my giveaway. You can still enter here! Don't forget to leave a comment with your desired prize.

Real Love Series: Stewarding Our Season of Singleness

First, I want to thank Jennifer for giving me the opportunity to share on her very lovely blog =D She asked me to share a little about singleness and waiting for our future spouses, and I immediately thought about how as singles we need to be stewarding and maximizing this season to its full potential. That whole idea though is not encouraged in our culture these days. My generation is one that's extending adolescence into our 20's and 30's. We use these years to "have fun" and avoid responsibility and commitment as much as possible. I think we'd be foolish in thinking that won't have an impact on our marriages and families in the future. God created us to be stewards with everything He's given us, including our years as singles. So then the question that needs to be asked is what does that look like on a practical level? As I sit here, with coffee in hand (my brain food), four things come to mind...

Becoming a Steward of Your Season of Singleness Includes...

Becoming Secure in Who's You Are. It sounds so cliche, but "fall in love with Jesus." You need to try and understand this: You are God's beloved daughter. And as God's beloved daughter He does not wish to give your hand in marriage to a mediocre man. God, your heavenly, perfect Father loves you like no other person in the universe. He knows every single thing about you from your deepest desires, secrets, dreams, hopes, strengths, flaws, sins, weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, what makes you smile, what makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, what breaks your heart, what makes you cry, and what encourages you. He knows you fully, which includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. And He loves you in spite of it all. We need only look to the cross for evidence of this. One of my favorite passages of scripture comes from Isaiah 54. This chapter of scripture has been entitled The Eternal Covenant of Peace by scholars and theologians, and I've always found comfort in it every season I've been in. But, take a look at verse five...

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.

God is the lover of your soul. Married or single, you have a love life with the Creator of the universe. Married or single, you're already in a covenant relationship. Have you nurtured that relationship? Have you allowed Jesus Christ to be the husband of your soul? Yes, you are God's beloved daughter, but you're also His beloved bride. I always say that my top priority in men is that they have a ferocious love and zeal for Christ, because this is what I'm cultivating in myself. Take delight in the divine romance before you ever enter into an earthly one. For the divine romance will feed into the earthly one making it a beautiful display of the gospel here on earth for others to see.

Gaining a Vision for Marriage. We live in a society and culture that doesn't esteem marriage, but demeans it. Simply flip on your TV to a random sitcom and you're sure to hear jokes about the marrieds. People kinda view it as your life ending in a sense. It's a prison of sorts where it's all work and no play. It's not held in honor. However, in Genesis chapter two we see that God sees marriage completely different. God creates marriage and says it is good that man have a helper, a wife. And marriages that image the gospel are very good and beautiful. They're worth all the hard work and struggle that come with the territory. We serve a God who is pro-marriage, therefore we're to renew our minds and become pro-marriage as well.

Becoming Marriage Material. Demographically speaking, single women in their 20's are most likely to be in large amounts of debt. Ladies, use these single years to learn basic financial skills and avoid going into as little debt as possible. This includes learning how to balance a checkbook, living on a budget, bargain hunting... learning how to stretch that dollar. Now, I'm going to come out and say it, but I desire and aspire to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I know that's not popular to say, but it's true. And I know I'm not the only one because after having talked to several women my age, I've found many who agree with me. If you're like us, then pickup a few homemaking skills such as cooking (which personally, I love), baking, hospitality, organizational skills, etc. If you want to have kids someday, then spend time around kids. Trust me, you'll learn a lot! Pick a career path or invest in an education. Find a home church and commit to being involved in community. If you have past sexual sins, unhealthy addictions, father wounds, etc. get help and work through those things before you get married, so that when you do enter into covenant with a man (or woman), you carry in as little baggage as possible. Finally, don't chase men. Now, I will point out that there's a difference between chasing a man, and getting in his way. We see this in the book of Ruth when Naomi advises her daughter-in-law to get in Boaz's way. The women in my family affectionately call this "pulling a Ruth." That means going where the godly men are. Don't chase a man; chase Christ, but be available. It's easy for us to make lists of what we want in a spouse and set the standard high, but often we fail to set the bar high for ourselves too. We focus far more on finding that "perfect" person, then stretching and challenging ourselves to become the kind of spouse we want to be for whom we marry someday. So keep your list of what you're looking for, but have a companion one for the kind of wife (or husband) you want to be and God has called you to be.

Recruiting Your Naomi's. Please, please, please don't underestimate the importance of seeking counsel when a relationship comes. God has not called us to live in isolation, but in community. In the Bible we see Ruth getting counsel from Naomi on how to proceed with Boaz. In Song of Solomon, the Shulamite woman is in community with her godly friends who encourage her (see chapter 1). Abraham and his servant oversaw the marriage of Issac and Rebekah. If we look at the marriages and relationships in the Bible, there's almost always someone else or a group of people counseling and guiding the couple. Your Naomi is to be someone who is godly, trustworthy, and who knows you. Naomi's then serve us by encouraging us when necessary, and pointing out red-flags that we may not be able to see.

 Pay me a visit at my blog Scribbles n'Things. I'd love to see you there =)

Thanks Natalie for sharing such great tips!

Enter My Giveaway

REAL Love: Choosing God's Will Over Want

Today I officially kick off my REAL Love Series with Mallory's story. Hers is one of trusting the Lord, following her parents leading and ultimately complete surrender.

 

I can hardly believe I've been married for 6 months and some days now... time really has flown by. I remember, about 2 years ago when the days felt forever long and every minute felt like a fight with my flesh. When I reflect back on those days now, my soul quiets within me and all I can say is "God you were faithful, you never leave, and now I can see your goodness in every tear i cried"

I met Ricky at the Christian nonprofit I worked for and within 2 months I found myself wanting to be around him. Ricky, another coworker and I started jogging after work, I hate jogging, but I jogged because he was there... I thought he was funny, passionate and really cute. As Ricky and I started talking more, and jogging more, we really began getting close and I really felt there was something different about him. But even from the beginning of our friendship, I realized how complicated it would be to be friends or to even begin a courtship.

Our churches were different but most importantly our foundations were different. There were doctrinal differences in our two churches, issues that defined what we both believed about God and about ourselves as sinners and that hung in my heart every time we spoke. I knew nothing could happen with the both of us if God did not address the issues in one of our hearts.

Ricky spoke to my dad and asked if we could begin a courtship to get to know each other better to which he agreed. We had a blast together, but there was also that dark cloud over our heads that reminded us that we had a huge issue that needed to change. With my parents wisdom we decided to set a date to pray about our relationship and the church God was calling each other to serve in. I knew this might not end up the way I wanted it to but I knew what they were saying was wise and I had to do it.

I dreaded meeting with Ricky to talk about what God revealed to us. Ricky felt the Lord call him to stay at his church, and that if I were the one for him I would follow him and that was the end of it. We said our goodbyes and drove away from the Starbucks. I cried for days... I really felt like he was the one, but I knew I wasn't the one to change his mind or his heart.

I truly felt the Lords love and comfort through my parents words and care for me during that season. My dad kept reassuring me that if I delighted myself in the Lord he would give me the desires of my heart and if my heart were seeking Gods will I would want to obey Gods word. I had to surrender my heart to God and trust he would perfectly care for it and look after it. Every day I saw Ricky at work, and I had to make the decision to lay my desires at the Lords altar and trust in him.

One night i remember crying to my mom, why is this so hard? I'm so sad, and I'm upset that it couldn't work out, because I wanted him to be the one." And my mom gently placed her hand on mine, and reminded me that God is good... He is faithful. That impacted me so much because she reminded me that in all things... in the things I have to surrender and lay at God's feet, God is good.

Fifteen months went by and my heart was still praying and crying out to God for strength and joy for all that happened with Ricky but with each day there was new grace and new joy and my soul longed for God more than anything or anyone else.

At the same time, God had been speaking to Ricky and giving him faith for a new church. He began visiting the church I attended and God began convicting his heart on the issues that we use to discuss. I didn't have to convince him of anything, the Lord did the work... for His glory. I've always loved Ricky's faith but now we were on the same foundations. I'm amazed at how God faithfully worked all things and I'm convinced that in the midst of joy or pain God is always at work and when we surrender all our desires, hurts, prayers to God, he is never far from us."

Thank you Mallory for sharing your story!

And friends, there's more to come. And don't forget to enter my giveaway here.

it's a good day...

because today marks the beginning of a great month for me and this blog.

next week we start my first mini series on

February is the month of love and chocolate and candy and little cards... but some of us, tend to forget the real meaning, of a real love story. So through this series i hope you are inspired to wait for REAL love, to act upon REAL love and to learn from REAL people who have overcome in this area... TUNE IN next week

[hold your breath there's more]

On february 14th my blog becomes 1 YEAR OLD and i'm so excited!!!! and because i could not have gotten here without you, the readers, i've decided to hold a giveaway [enter clapping]

                                 
it's a month of firsts! So please, come back, stay awhile and follow me on this adventure so that you can learn and be motivated by others, and maybe even win a special gift i am cooking up!

i'm so excited!

thank you for your support.

ps: more information SOON!