Real Love Series: The Importance of Being Second

I'm so glad that I was able to have amazing women of God share about their stories on love, waiting and trusting the Lord. Today Courtney shares her story. And as always, she displays her writing skills beautifully in this post.

hi everyone, this is courtney from vintch. i am thrilled to be on jen’s blog today, sharing a little bit about my thoughts on marriage and love, and the importance of keeping christ at the center of it all.

our love story started like many others. in a cloud of perfume, lockers and high school parking lots. robert was a year ahead of me, drove a volkswagon van and lankily stared in school productions. he was quiet and sat on a bench near my third period class. i hadn’t spoken to him, but i walked by him every day in my most special way, lingering my fingers on the doorknob longer than necessary, hoping he would notice my saunter, my cheerleading uniform, my haircut. the first time we spoke was on our first date, when he picked me up in his dad’s car, sweetly apologizing for the towel on my seat. he spilt water on the way over.

what followed wasn’t easy. we spent every afternoon together for an entire year. then, he left for college two hours away and i realized the reality of young love. i realized that late nights on the telephone sometimes lead to throwing it against the wall and going to bed crying. that girls in college don bikinis and lay out under the volleyball courts. that the train ride between us was too long. and when i finally got to college with him, the trials didn’t stop. there were classes, new friends and old obligations to juggle. in the lowest point of our relationship, i met him between our dorms and gave him back his microwavable soup bowl. i cried and rolled his high school ring around my finger. we parted at around nine in the morning, and i didn’t speak to him for three months.

but we found our way back. because even though college was hard, and temptations were around every corner, and the time apart felt like a physical death, our love was stronger than that. one night robert was reading his bible and he found job 9:9: “he made all the stars--the bear and orion, the pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.” pleiades is our favorite constellation. that sign from the lord confirmed it and we met in the hallway one afternoon to talk.

we haven’t stopped talking since. we talk on the phone every day. we talk in bed at night. at five-thirty on august 30, 2008, we talked sacred words to each other at the alter of my home church.

my mama used to tell me, i love you kids. but i love jesus more. and that used to hurt my feelings. how could she possibly love anything more than me? more than my mousy hair and my shy stutter? but now, i understand. because even though my love for robert is greater than any love i could ever share on this earth, i too, love my father more. and that’s the way it should be—and that’s what keeps our love good. because i’m second on robert’s list as well. and as we seek to develop, nourish and feed that relationship with jesus, we strengthen our own.

and much of that is spiritual. but some is physical, too. i wore white on my wedding day with honor. somehow, armed with an unmatched grace, we overcame the temptress that is college, with its alone time, twin beds and empty dorm rooms. that was important to us—to save ourselves. because we were worth it. and that’s my message today. you are worth it too.

you with the messy hair.

you with the gap-toothed grin.

you with the stutter, the slur, the stammer.

you with no idea what the future holds.

you with no one to kiss at night.

you with the wide hips, the crooked nose and the big feet.

you in the trailer park, the neighborhood, the mansion.

you with the thrift store coat and bright tights.

you are worth it. and there’s still time. you are worthy.

Courtney also has an amazing etsy shop and you can win an item from her shop on my giveaway. You can still enter here! Don't forget to leave a comment with your desired prize.