Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Real Love Series: The Importance of Being Second

I'm so glad that I was able to have amazing women of God share about their stories on love, waiting and trusting the Lord. Today Courtney shares her story. And as always, she displays her writing skills beautifully in this post.

hi everyone, this is courtney from vintch. i am thrilled to be on jen’s blog today, sharing a little bit about my thoughts on marriage and love, and the importance of keeping christ at the center of it all.

our love story started like many others. in a cloud of perfume, lockers and high school parking lots. robert was a year ahead of me, drove a volkswagon van and lankily stared in school productions. he was quiet and sat on a bench near my third period class. i hadn’t spoken to him, but i walked by him every day in my most special way, lingering my fingers on the doorknob longer than necessary, hoping he would notice my saunter, my cheerleading uniform, my haircut. the first time we spoke was on our first date, when he picked me up in his dad’s car, sweetly apologizing for the towel on my seat. he spilt water on the way over.

what followed wasn’t easy. we spent every afternoon together for an entire year. then, he left for college two hours away and i realized the reality of young love. i realized that late nights on the telephone sometimes lead to throwing it against the wall and going to bed crying. that girls in college don bikinis and lay out under the volleyball courts. that the train ride between us was too long. and when i finally got to college with him, the trials didn’t stop. there were classes, new friends and old obligations to juggle. in the lowest point of our relationship, i met him between our dorms and gave him back his microwavable soup bowl. i cried and rolled his high school ring around my finger. we parted at around nine in the morning, and i didn’t speak to him for three months.

but we found our way back. because even though college was hard, and temptations were around every corner, and the time apart felt like a physical death, our love was stronger than that. one night robert was reading his bible and he found job 9:9: “he made all the stars--the bear and orion, the pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.” pleiades is our favorite constellation. that sign from the lord confirmed it and we met in the hallway one afternoon to talk.

we haven’t stopped talking since. we talk on the phone every day. we talk in bed at night. at five-thirty on august 30, 2008, we talked sacred words to each other at the alter of my home church.

my mama used to tell me, i love you kids. but i love jesus more. and that used to hurt my feelings. how could she possibly love anything more than me? more than my mousy hair and my shy stutter? but now, i understand. because even though my love for robert is greater than any love i could ever share on this earth, i too, love my father more. and that’s the way it should be—and that’s what keeps our love good. because i’m second on robert’s list as well. and as we seek to develop, nourish and feed that relationship with jesus, we strengthen our own.

and much of that is spiritual. but some is physical, too. i wore white on my wedding day with honor. somehow, armed with an unmatched grace, we overcame the temptress that is college, with its alone time, twin beds and empty dorm rooms. that was important to us—to save ourselves. because we were worth it. and that’s my message today. you are worth it too.

you with the messy hair.
you with the gap-toothed grin.
you with the stutter, the slur, the stammer.
you with no idea what the future holds.
you with no one to kiss at night.
you with the wide hips, the crooked nose and the big feet.
you in the trailer park, the neighborhood, the mansion.
you with the thrift store coat and bright tights.

you are worth it. and there’s still time. you are worthy.

Courtney also has an amazing etsy shop and you can win an item from her shop on my giveaway. You can still enter here! Don't forget to leave a comment with your desired prize.


  1. Thank you! I was listening to a sermon about this, that even when you are married your first love will always and forever be Jesus.

  2. wow. what a powerful little kick in the butt. i'm engaged and my fiance and i both love jesus, but at this point, we love each other more. we love other things more. i want to get back on track with that. but it's hard! i don't know where to start. or how to convince him.

    1. i think yo've covered the first step which is recognizing that you need to improve this area. i think that you can help your boyfriend do this, by initiating a deeper relationship with the lord that will help you make him first in your life and relationship and then lead by example to him. i think this would show him that this is important to you and to the relationship and then little by little you can have talks about this and maybe even include a spiritual leader or guide in your relationship.

      hope this helps. im so glad this post was helpful to you.
      im sure Courtney can offer great advice too. email her.

  3. So, so guilty of being jealous when I'm not first. Me! Me! Me! That is my attitude and THIS should be. How much more beautiful are a man and wife who put God first so that he is in control of their relationship and not them. Who love God first and each other second and somehow that doesn't sting the same way he loves his Xbox and his football and his basketball games. This is so beautifully written and I so needed to hear this.

    1. You are so right Larissa, it is beautiful to see that.

  4. So beautifully written! And so true! Thanks for sharing!!

  5. Oh Courtney! This is heart warming, uplifting, TRUTH beauty, and LOVE. Making Jesus FIRST is vital, and so so true, this is so beautiful, I am going to have my daughter and her boyfriend read it, I am so happy you shared, it's so wonderful to learn this of you, what a story you have!!!!

  6. Thanks for doing this Jennifer, I haven't see your blog before...but I'm looking forward to getting around it!

  7. So awesome to hear your story! Its so beautiful and a true testimony of the Lord! I love your honestly in your posts,especially about your faith and beliefs. You guys are so cute :)

  8. ohmyWORD, i love this.
    so beautiful. so full of truth.

  9. My first time here, but I know Courtney's beautiful posts,
    and again she did a great job with her love story.

    1. Yes she did. Thank you for stopping by Maureen.

  10. I knew it would be hard to find a man who had this mentality of God first and waiting...I didn't find him until my early 30's...but boy was it worth the wait.

  11. Soo happy to read a little of Courtney's love story! What a great couple! What a great series!

    Janette, the Jongleur


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