Real Love Series: Stewarding Our Season of Singleness

First, I want to thank Jennifer for giving me the opportunity to share on her very lovely blog =D She asked me to share a little about singleness and waiting for our future spouses, and I immediately thought about how as singles we need to be stewarding and maximizing this season to its full potential. That whole idea though is not encouraged in our culture these days. My generation is one that's extending adolescence into our 20's and 30's. We use these years to "have fun" and avoid responsibility and commitment as much as possible. I think we'd be foolish in thinking that won't have an impact on our marriages and families in the future. God created us to be stewards with everything He's given us, including our years as singles. So then the question that needs to be asked is what does that look like on a practical level? As I sit here, with coffee in hand (my brain food), four things come to mind...

Becoming a Steward of Your Season of Singleness Includes...

Becoming Secure in Who's You Are. It sounds so cliche, but "fall in love with Jesus." You need to try and understand this: You are God's beloved daughter. And as God's beloved daughter He does not wish to give your hand in marriage to a mediocre man. God, your heavenly, perfect Father loves you like no other person in the universe. He knows every single thing about you from your deepest desires, secrets, dreams, hopes, strengths, flaws, sins, weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, what makes you smile, what makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, what breaks your heart, what makes you cry, and what encourages you. He knows you fully, which includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. And He loves you in spite of it all. We need only look to the cross for evidence of this. One of my favorite passages of scripture comes from Isaiah 54. This chapter of scripture has been entitled The Eternal Covenant of Peace by scholars and theologians, and I've always found comfort in it every season I've been in. But, take a look at verse five...

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.

God is the lover of your soul. Married or single, you have a love life with the Creator of the universe. Married or single, you're already in a covenant relationship. Have you nurtured that relationship? Have you allowed Jesus Christ to be the husband of your soul? Yes, you are God's beloved daughter, but you're also His beloved bride. I always say that my top priority in men is that they have a ferocious love and zeal for Christ, because this is what I'm cultivating in myself. Take delight in the divine romance before you ever enter into an earthly one. For the divine romance will feed into the earthly one making it a beautiful display of the gospel here on earth for others to see.

Gaining a Vision for Marriage. We live in a society and culture that doesn't esteem marriage, but demeans it. Simply flip on your TV to a random sitcom and you're sure to hear jokes about the marrieds. People kinda view it as your life ending in a sense. It's a prison of sorts where it's all work and no play. It's not held in honor. However, in Genesis chapter two we see that God sees marriage completely different. God creates marriage and says it is good that man have a helper, a wife. And marriages that image the gospel are very good and beautiful. They're worth all the hard work and struggle that come with the territory. We serve a God who is pro-marriage, therefore we're to renew our minds and become pro-marriage as well.

Becoming Marriage Material. Demographically speaking, single women in their 20's are most likely to be in large amounts of debt. Ladies, use these single years to learn basic financial skills and avoid going into as little debt as possible. This includes learning how to balance a checkbook, living on a budget, bargain hunting... learning how to stretch that dollar. Now, I'm going to come out and say it, but I desire and aspire to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I know that's not popular to say, but it's true. And I know I'm not the only one because after having talked to several women my age, I've found many who agree with me. If you're like us, then pickup a few homemaking skills such as cooking (which personally, I love), baking, hospitality, organizational skills, etc. If you want to have kids someday, then spend time around kids. Trust me, you'll learn a lot! Pick a career path or invest in an education. Find a home church and commit to being involved in community. If you have past sexual sins, unhealthy addictions, father wounds, etc. get help and work through those things before you get married, so that when you do enter into covenant with a man (or woman), you carry in as little baggage as possible. Finally, don't chase men. Now, I will point out that there's a difference between chasing a man, and getting in his way. We see this in the book of Ruth when Naomi advises her daughter-in-law to get in Boaz's way. The women in my family affectionately call this "pulling a Ruth." That means going where the godly men are. Don't chase a man; chase Christ, but be available. It's easy for us to make lists of what we want in a spouse and set the standard high, but often we fail to set the bar high for ourselves too. We focus far more on finding that "perfect" person, then stretching and challenging ourselves to become the kind of spouse we want to be for whom we marry someday. So keep your list of what you're looking for, but have a companion one for the kind of wife (or husband) you want to be and God has called you to be.

Recruiting Your Naomi's. Please, please, please don't underestimate the importance of seeking counsel when a relationship comes. God has not called us to live in isolation, but in community. In the Bible we see Ruth getting counsel from Naomi on how to proceed with Boaz. In Song of Solomon, the Shulamite woman is in community with her godly friends who encourage her (see chapter 1). Abraham and his servant oversaw the marriage of Issac and Rebekah. If we look at the marriages and relationships in the Bible, there's almost always someone else or a group of people counseling and guiding the couple. Your Naomi is to be someone who is godly, trustworthy, and who knows you. Naomi's then serve us by encouraging us when necessary, and pointing out red-flags that we may not be able to see.

 Pay me a visit at my blog Scribbles n'Things. I'd love to see you there =)

Thanks Natalie for sharing such great tips!

Enter My Giveaway