Refreshed.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
  for my hope is from him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation,
  my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
  my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
  Trust in him at all times, O people;
  pour out your heart before him;
  God is a refuge for us. Selah

Psalm 62:5-8

well last week was hard on me as i started dealing with some tough issues in my heart.
you know, areas that well you just have there hidden and not wanting to relinquish them

for so long i dragged them with me until i cant no more.

god has somehow let me hold on for awhile as he dealt with other areas, as he blessed me and grew me,

but now the time has come to take a huge step-up in the staircase of life.

and i cant bring with me the extra baggage. it's just simply too heavy.

and many times we do this in life. we carry extra baggage. unnecessary items that do us no good.

 somehow we think we need them or deserve them

when really they dont deserve us.

meanwhile the only thing that can uphold us is the lord.

this past weekend i came face to face with his love.

as i worshiped him on friday, he just showed up and lit up inside me

i felt tears coming down my face as he recued me from the despair.

he hugged me with his presence.

and filled me with his joy.

so beautiful.

so refreshing.

and so the rest of the weekend continued in the same way.

at church we spoke on circumcision of the heart.

then more on surrender 

 letting the lord lead.

and then a breakthru

i opened my heart, put down my guard

 and confessed my struggles with a small group of friends.

and received their affection and support.

i know, im merely a canvas and he is the artist

painting a beautiful masterpiece

the process is just not easy

but in the end it will be

a picture worthy of admiration

reflecting him in me

and really that's what i want most.