less is more

i knew i loved Emma! 

i want to be like john

the last few days ive been contemplating on what to share here. how to be original, original and cute. no new burst of creativity has occurred these days. i guess you can say ive been too busy having fun. so as i pondered today on what to share to you and the world i've decided to say this:

freedom in Christ is the best thing that could have happened to me.
i love him so much.

not because of what he has done for me. but simply because he loves this mess of a woman that i can be. and i love the way that he approaches me and makes me better. every day as i choose to honor him and serve him, he in turn makes me the prettiest girl ever. forget losing weight. his love is being poured into me and it's producing this glow effect that i really like. the way jesus shines on me is better than the best make-up or having the best hair. it's a natural pretty that comes from within. i can smile. i can laugh. i can be silly. i can love. and love. and love. and rejoice in him because he is the one who gives me strength.

knowing his supremacy and greatness really encourages me. 

so here i leave you with some verses from our Monday devotional at the office (which for some god reason, i've been asked to help do)

i want to be like John - John the Baptist  - 
& prepare the way for my King to be known

"Now a discussion arose between some of John's disciples and a Jew over purification. And they came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, he who was with you across the Jordan, to whom you bore witness—look, he is baptizing, and all are going to him.” 

John answered, “A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven. You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, ‘I am not the Christ, but I have been sent before him.’ The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. 

He must increase, but I must decrease.

He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heaven is above all. He bears witness to what he has seen and heard, yet no one receives his testimony. Whoever receives his testimony sets his seal to this, that God is true. For he whom God has sent utters the words of God, for he gives the Spirit without measure. The Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand. 

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.

(John 3:25-36 ESV)

a few lessons learned in the past few weeks have taught me that i am my own worst enemy or my biggest cheerleader. i  chose the latter.

there's no better thing than to walk in freedom. just to throw away the thoughts, put down the shackles and convince yourself that it will be ok. that you dont need to beat yourself up for hoping for something you didnt get. or for trying something that didnt work. for taking a step that failed and now you are stuck. or for giving your heart to the wrong gal or guy and now you realize it was a mistake. you are left broken and done. it's alright.

you know, it's even ok if you just cry a few tears. laugh a little. and move on.

this song almost brought me to tears this morning. as i realized how blessed i am. and how many people are struggling, real deal struggles. i am blessed. and i want to just smile.

because my healer lives...

a weekend of refreshments

it's been awhile since i felt as relieved as i did these past few days.
i felt a certain freedom. a certain peace.


i suddenly laughed more. giggled all night at the dinner table with a few friends. i wonder if they wondered as i did about the incessant giggling.


i suddenly felt less awkward and uncomfortable in places. it felt natural to be me. just me.


my heart felt lighter. no bundle of overanalyzed thoughts could seep through. they tried. but i closed that door of overthiking and over judging myself for my over thinking ways. and just.let.it.be.


there's freedom that makes you want to scream to the world. that makes you want to dance in front of a door while you wait for someone to answer. unashamed. there's freedom that let's you over snack for a day or two just cause you can. and the thoughts of why you shouldn't are suppressed. it's not reckless, it's just worry-free enjoyment. for once.


there's joy that just sparkles in your eyes. that takes you to heights that you can only imagine when in the valleys. but then you reach the mountain top and forget all about the path you've walked to get here. it's not that it's intently forgotten, it's just that you choose not to revisit.


a quote i read this week completed this feeling for me:

"freedom is not letting your yesterday affect your today."

Joyce Meyer

everyday that we walk this earth we are a product of our yesterday. somehow or another, the experiences we chose to live or not, form us, build us, make us. but the trick to surviving as we thread this often difficult path, is that we musn't dwell on that yesterday that made us. it's like we must disconnect with the ancestors of the journey and face the newness of the day. it's how we overcome. it's how we are meant to live. free. free from things that were meant to go. and free from the things that where meant to stay. nothing is really ours. not even ourselves.

"who the son sets free is free indeed!"

john 10:38

life lessons & true hope

in life we'll always have that person or persons tho keep us in check.
to point us back to places of improvement. to remind us that we are not yet perfect.
to show us where we can be humbled. where we can be more like Christ.
to higlight our weaknesses.

but there is one who is greater, who signals, with love.
the only one with authority over our life.
he judges and heals.
he loves us and corrects us.
he sees the brokenness in our heart.
he sees the potential masterpiece.
he is never too hard and always too loving.

he will make us humble
he will allow suffering and discomfort
but his promise of sufficient grace
will never cease
and in the weariness. in the trial. we will be victorious.
because his grace is enough. his love endures forever.
his care is beyond all human care
and his power is mighty to save.

can you handle another kitty picture?

that was yesterday.
and.this.is.today.

now. joking aside.

this is my power thought of the week.
there's no greater encouragement, no greater weapon, no greater stregnth than knowing that god is with us and fights for us. we know that even though we walk through the valleys we have the assurance that he will get us to the mountain tops.
his love is amazing. 

too good not to share...

treasures in my inbox

i love so many things about the blog world, but more than the encouraging posts, i love the encouraging comments on the posts.
some of my readers subscribe my email.
and often, i find little treasures in my inbox.
an amazing response that makes my day.
mostly because these people, are people i know in real life.
it makes it exciting.
yesterday, i loved the response i received to monday's post.
it was so encouraging that i got permission from the writer to post.

heyy. i can relate to this post! the main thing i got out of last year was maturity and growth. and it can be tedious and tiring like you say but rewarding (also like you say lol) thanks for sharing! the main lesson i'm carrying onto this year, though is Freedom. carrying and wearing it like a banner. when we delight in His freedom all the temporal stuff grows dim and the eternal things become everything. "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17 [I'm] seriously ready to not live in the past and to not dwell on the present but to live for something bigger than all of us. God is good and for that I praise Him because we may never get there until He comes but He already did it!!! I learned that with the "Do Something Now" film in Passion. The lady from Nepal who was abused for years both sexually and for labor talked about Jesus and what He's done in her life and it all made sense there. God's really got it under control. She just smiled and said that she now knows what true joy is and forgave all of the men who hurt her. Then I realized what true freedom is and that only Jesus can save and heal and nothing really matters but Him.

I don't know how to conclude this. I just felt like sharing. lol. Thanks for reading and I hope we all get to know this freedom like the girl from Nepal. love you, Jen.

thanks Camille, for your encouraging words.

i hope her words bless you too.
i send my love to all of you, who read, post and feel encouraged.
you will never know how much i've grown by means of this blog and the awesome blog people ive met.
thank you.

watch a miracle - the power of prayer

finally a resolution

“Now we should live while the pulse of life is strong. Life is a tenuous thing…fragile, fleeting… Be here now. Be here now. Be here now.”

"the crown of creation"

i read that when god created women, we are like the crown of creation and that we are wondefully gifted creatures. there's so much we can do... we are beautiful, multi-taskers, and a man needs us. woman means great help (as i recall), we are their perfect help. and that was so encouraging to me to learn that potential and how it became distorted after the fall. women became instead of the help for the man, demanding, controlling, naggers... and some even losing their femininity. and because of the fall women also lost their worth or the understanding of their worth,

and that need for affirmation was made in their hearts.

as women it is natural of us to desired to be loved, but only the lord god can bring that affirmation and so women, we get lost if we didnt receive that care and affirmation in our childhood/adolescent years, 

and later are desperately seeking that in men or other things.

and i also learned that jesus longs to fill that void,

that he is desperate to be that lover for us.

the bible speaks of our relationship with jesus in different levels of relationship.

like father to child, like master to servant, like groom and wife.

and the latter is the best and most intimate,

that he loves us in that level and wants to spend time with us as husband to a wife knocks me off my feet. he cares enough for us to want to meet even those longings in our heart. that realization reached deep for me, to know that his love goes so deep that he can really meet every necessity in our hearts, it blows me away.

and not only that, but that fact that

he wants to romance us like a man romances a woman, he is passionate for us,

he is in a desperate pursuit for our attention...

and when we come to fall in love with him, fall for him as our husband, something awakens in us,

 that dependence on him, that love, that beauty, that joy...

because when we let him love on us like that, our true beauty and feminity awakens.

there's no better feeling than being romanced by the lover of my soul, jesus.

where are you in this stage? have you been able to let jesus love you like no other can?

sometimes, this may transcribe as only single women need to have this total dependence on jesus,

but from what im learning, a woman will not be able to be successful in her marriage if she doesnt find her fulfillment and identity in christ first.

and only he can affirm us, make us feel loved, beautiful, worth it

in a way that would change us forever...

this something i am living and learning and putting to practice...

i would love to hear how others have come to full acceptance of themselves in christ.

ps: two things to check out that have helped me in this process:

1. this book. -- most of my thoughts here, come from here. this book has helped change me.

2. this blog. -- read the whole thing, start from day one, seriously, you'll see why i couldnt stop reading it.

take my life, take my voice, take my will, please take me, all.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.

Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

---

after the rain has gone

the rain showed up this weekend with fervent determination to pour and pour over my town. i have to say i enjoyed it. i spent most of the day saturday with great friends. and as the rain progressed and the day turned into night, i wearied with the added stress of running errands while it rained so hard. but the day's joy picked up once we out-smarted ms. rain with boots to splash on the puddles it left behind. i wouldnt have it any other way, i must add.

and today, there's no rain, for now at least, but what seems like a silent and peaceful sun peeking through the window. calm day as can be. the storm has ceased.

and with the calmness of the day i now sit sipping on coffee. playing with my hair. resminicing on the past few days and activities. and i feel new. refreshed. often tortured  by my desire to be done and changed, quickly. but hopeful to see the effects of a life under god's microscope. and nothing beats that embrace. nothing makes me more secure as a woman than knowing that all my mess ups, tears and bitter words come together for a good purpose. to make me a glorious testimony of his love. and to use me as tool to change this world one person at a time. who knows, which way he'll have it, but as long as jesus is in it, i want it.

and as these moments bring about this new long-awaited transformation, i find more strength to accept the new, more strength to forget the old, and more strength to be brutally honest with others and myself. the brutally honest part still needs adjustment. but this is all a blessed accomplishment leading me to goals i hardly knew i had. thinking of heading back to school. making new music. picking up an instrument. considering future plans. mission trips. development work. yearning to be in the kitchen more. seeking to please my lord and be more like him. and looking forward to that one day  when i'll finallysay we did this. jesus and i.

and with these thoughts, and after long days of rain, i conclude that not every storm carries with it heavy rain and strong winds. some do and when they arrive they come through, do some damage and leave you with a broken structure to rebuild. and in that rebuilding, new and better things are usually brewed. and although that which was broken was loved and often missed, the new that has come is oh so sweet.

soon real soon, i am coming through as sweet as can be.

rainy day inspration

wishy washy