i will get there soon enough

the best part of growing up is growing up.
you see, there's a certain feeling after one finishes the upward walk to what seems like a never-ending staircase. relief. then suddenly, a conclusion. i made it, i am new. different.

and that feeling of "i've grown up", makes growing up a bitter-sweet commodity.
a challenge that deems us knights in shining armor, princesses that have been rescued.
royalty.

in all honesty, some days i feel at the bottom of the staircase and others well beyond the halfway mark. and it feels discouraging at times, but i tend to take some steps back. accidentally. purposely. it's just that the journey is difficult, and often tiring. becoming a woman of worth, strength and inner beauty, takes all the energy i have. all my efforts. and really there is where i fail. where we fail. fighting with my own strength only gets me so far before i am weary and ready to retire.

here's where i know that only a greater hope, greater power, can sustain me through the hours of tired calfs, heavy lifting, short breaths and panting as i walk the journey to freedom.

the encouraging thing is that victories can occur daily or weekly in this journey. today it's making it to monday, getting through the first week of the year and lifting up prayers of commitment to the will (though unknown to me) of the father.