Monday, January 21, 2013
conversations with coffee
i really like coffee. every morning. after every lunch and if the day has gone busy, i like it around 3 pm.
mostly i like the warmness of holding the cup in my hands. and the smell that lingers and invites me to take a sip. two. and three.
around these parts we usually have the Cuban style coffee (read more about it here) and it really packs a power punch. strong, sweet, espresso.
i mostly like the conversations that form around coffee. everyone gathers around for a cup and the chit chatter that gets going, its the sweetest part.
not too long ago i sat with a friend and talked for hours about life and many things, including singleness. we met while we were still in college and had not seen each other since. we are both still single. and well it seems my friend is very concerned at the moment because of it. think: a successful adult, with great wits and a good heart, still unable to meet a sweet person to spend the rest of his life with. on my end, i'm ok for the taking, when it comes.
but the whole conversation brought to mind the many wonderful single people i know still waiting to meet their other half. and a lot of these people, including myself, are not necessarily suffering about their singleness. I mean it's not to say that we wouldn't want to find someone special, but it's not a reason for being sad.
what im saying is that people have a misconception of singleness. people i meet and some ive know forever come around and the first thing they ask is about my love life and with sadness in their eyes often give me that pity pat on the back as if my life was any less meaningful because there wasn't a love interest in my life. often they proceed with the words of encouragement "oh it will come" "when you are not looking for it".
the story repeats itself with my girlfriends who are single. and maybe this is a latin thing, but parents and friends tend to feel bad for a successful and happy young girl if she doesn't have a guy around her arm to "entertain" her.
who says i want a relationship for entertainment? i want something real and more meaningful and forever.
most importantly, im not sitting around moping while that season of my life decides to pick and blossom. my singleness is about enjoying this season in preparation for the next.
every person should find contentment, success, inspiration, vision and their life goals during their time of singleness. no one should wait for marriage to start living. it doesn't work that way really. if one is unhappy before marriage about who they are, their success or even damped with low self-esteem, this may only worsen when that person is around.
in all honesty it's not that it's always easy for me, this waiting game, but i find so much enjoyment in investing my time in so many wonderful things while it happens. my job, my service at church, coffee nights with friends, hanging out and watching a movie with my aunt on sunday afternoons, doing nothing on saturdays, eating a late night snack while reading a book i cant put down, spending time with my lord late at night, enjoying a late night meal and laughing for hours in front of the tv -- there's so much to enjoy for now. and so much to enjoy then, but while then and now decide to switch places there's no reason why i shouldn't sit back, smell the coffee and drink peacefully.