"be careful little mouth what you say"

You know those days you wished you hadn’t said what you said?

I’m having one of those days.

It’s like there are days when my mouth acts like a five year old who can’t help but say the truth.

The truth that as adults, we learn to withhold. I’m not promoting lying, but not every thought of truth we think it’s worth relinquishing.

Don’t you just hate those moments?

I failed at all the basics. Missed all the bases.

Something was said that triggered a response from savvy little Jen (my mouth).

I knew it was a trap. Words do that some times.

My little Jen ran right through the hurdle.

It was the perfect opportunity to let feelings run free. So she thought it was ok to take it.

And those feelings, which carried some bitterness, pushed real hard through my sealed lips.

I almost bit them to hold back. With no success.

Suddenly.

Before I knew it.

They broke free and sputtered on the shirt of the person whose words started the commotion.

It looked like a mustard stain when it lands on a white shirt.

Producing the immediate “gosh” stare. With a touch of mercy to my benefit.

Nonetheless.

I felt the sweat in my soul. My brain immediately began to punish me.

My reflexes failed. Again. I made a fooled of myself.

And today I think about it. Over and over.

But I don’t immediately beat myself up. Like I used to. Rather I hold on tight to the fact that I have hope. And so does little Jen. As I change, she changes.

As I trust God with my feelings, they won’t have the need to sabotage my lips and break free.

They will be calm. Settled in safe haven. God’s heart.

I’m surrendering. Seeking to be just like Him.

I wish it would come with a blink of an eye.

Just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the evidence of my mess-ups left on a loved one’s shirt.

For now I’ll wait and learn to:

“Talk low, talk slow, and [not] say too much.”

{John Wayne also James 1:19}

PS: Have a GREAT weekend!