this morning as i drove to work, i began thinking. i think a lot when i drive. and well a song on the radio came on and it say the words that have stayed with me since.
i know you love to hear me sing.
and deep inside me, my soul went "wow".
my mind flashed to memories of me singing. i was suddenly nine again grabbing a hairbrush and using it as a mic while i sang in front of the mirror. then i was in my teen years, screaming at the top of my lungs again. running around the house while i babysat my little sisters. then i was singing at church for the first time. i could see my nervousness in my thoughts. the thrill of singing for a greater purpose. nothing could compare. then im in a room recording my album. i think i had never felt such excitement. such passion. i mean the physical exhaustion after every recording session of often repeating the same note, could not outweigh the joy in my heart to be doing just that. and then i came back to recent memories of all the places i've been to lately, singing, sharing. and then i came back to my car. driving. listening to a song i love and singing along at the top of my lungs. alone. with the loudness and passion in my singing voice.
somehow, after all the stages, church altars or rooms i've sung in. nothing compares to the thrill of driving and singing passionately, like no one could hear me. and really no one can hear me (or at least i like to think that). and then im fearless. i reach for the notes that i otherwise would be too insecure to try. i am not afraid to miss them. im not afraid to shriek. sing off tune or even forget the lines. it's just me and the music. becoming one. finding refuge in one another. sitting together. just enjoying each other.
right there, im just a girl. a girl that sings. for me. for love. for his mighty name. cause he can hear my music anywhere. he can hear the music i have yet to uncover. the music that i haven't found the right words to. he hears them. he loves them. and that's why i love them. and thats why i sing to him. because i know he loves to hear me sing.